Sunday, May 12, 2013

And there you were


                                   1.5 Months
My monthly “visitor” didn’t show up on the 28th day as  usual
Panic!
Pregnancy test… positive



Freak out!
Me: Scared Shitless  The Hubs: Ecstatic
It was not yet time… I thought
 I still needed to pay off my student loans
I needed to save
I had plans to do all these “things”
For split second I considered…
The Hubs and I talked and I knew it was going to be okay

                                       3.5 Months




I felt the baby flutter and then I knew it was going to be better than okay
We decided not to find out the gender
I secretly wanted a girl
He also wanted a girl then he changed his mind

                                            4 Months



I had a bump!
And the bump was growing!!!
I spoke to it so it would know my voice
I played music to it
Classical music seemed calm it
I told it I loved it, boy or girl

                                          5 Months

Magic was happening but I selfishly worried about my weight
I tried to diet but gave it up after I blacked out on the downtown 6 train
I got a good scolding from a friend
So I ate
My mother-in-law cooked for me...everyday
So, I ate well 

                                        6 Months

I dressed to the nines everyday
I tried to be stylish while pregnant
I wanted to go on a babymoon
But we couldn't 
We needed to save
We had a pregnancy shoot 






                                           7 Months

My feet became swollen…I couldn’t fit my heels
I’d gone up a shoe size
I gave up stuffing my feet into heels and bought sensible flats from aerosoles  
I was suddenly 12 pounds heavier but was not worried
I was going to complete the Insanity Workout Program postpartum
I bought the Insanity DVDs
I bought Your Baby Can Read DVDs

                                         8 Months

I was huge, uncomfortable and felt like a ball
I had a constant heartburn
I tried to get a bikini wax … it was a bad idea lol
Baby arrival was getting closer
I was anxious with excitement
I could not wait to meet my little one
Hospital bag and birthing plan were ready
All I could do was wait

                                       39 weeks

Labor pains began New Year’s Eve
It knocked the breath out of me
I went to the hospital… they sent me back home
A couple of hours after we got home, my water broke
We went back to the hospital
At check in, I found out  my company had not paid my health insurance
It cast a dark cloud over the miracle that was happening
I worried
My labor pains grew worse
I threw out my birthing plan and asked for an epidural
I was still in pain … and I worried about the hospital bill
The labor pains did not subside
The epidural tube was blocked...they did not realize until 1 hour later
They removed it … and re-inserted it
It was painful but my sister and I breathed through it
The pain eventually subsided
2 people got into an argument – that made me sad
My best friend came – that made me happy
I fell as sleep

                                      It Was Time 

They woke me up in a fright
My blood pressure was dropping so was the baby’s
Baby had pooped and needed to be out immediately
Everyone had to leave the room
Only 2 people could stay
My husband and one person
That was not the plan
It was supposed to be my husband and my 2 sisters
They made me choose between my sisters
I was sad… I needed them both
Labor pains racked my body
I pushed involuntarily
They stopped me and told me to push when asked
It was so painful... I couldn’t breath
I couldn’t feel my legs...
It was too painful to cry
They asked and I pushed
I pushed with every contraction as instructed
My sister looked at me,  she could see the baby’s hair
At that, I focused on my baby’s sonogram picture in the red frame at the corner of the room
I gave the push all energy I had left  
The baby came right out
It felt like……..I can’t explain
They took my baby away
I was confused but they told me to keep pushing
There was no cry
I was scared
Then there was a cry
It was a little girl
I cried… she was exactly what I wanted
They brought her to me
I held her for the first time …
My little girl
I couldn’t believe I was really a mum
A mum…To the most beautifulest little girl in the world


I thank God for giving me the privilege to be your mother








Happy Mother’s Day!!!

video








4 comments:

  1. Sigh... You are happy you made me cry this Tuesday afternoon abi?

    I'm in love with this post. And Happy belated mother's day to you my boo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, i almost cried sha.....she is indeed beautiful

    ReplyDelete

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