And there you were

                                   1.5 Months
My monthly “visitor” didn’t show up on the 28^th day as  usual

Panic!

Pregnancy test… positive

Freak out!

Me: Scared Shitless  The Hubs: Ecstatic

It was not yet time… I thought

 I still needed to pay off my student loans

I needed to save

I had plans to do all these “things”

For split second I considered…

The Hubs and I talked and I knew it was going to be okay

                                       3.5 Months

I felt the baby flutter and then I knew it was going to be better than okay
We decided not to find out the gender

I secretly wanted a girl

He also wanted a girl then he changed his mind

                                            4 Months

I had a bump!
And the bump was growing!!!

I spoke to it so it would know my voice

I played music to it

Classical music seemed calm it

I told it I loved it, boy or girl

                                          5 Months

Magic was happening but I selfishly worried about my weight

I tried to diet but gave it up after I blacked out on the downtown 6 train

I got a good scolding from a friend

So I ate

My mother-in-law cooked for me...everyday

So, I ate well 

                                        6 Months

I dressed to the nines everyday

I tried to be stylish while pregnant
I wanted to go on a babymoon

But we couldn't 

We needed to save

We had a pregnancy shoot 

                                           7 Months

My feet became swollen…I couldn’t fit my heels
I’d gone up a shoe size

I gave up stuffing my feet into heels and bought sensible flats from aerosoles  

I was suddenly 12 pounds heavier but was not worried

I was going to complete the Insanity Workout Program postpartum

I bought the Insanity DVDs

I bought Your Baby Can Read DVDs

                                         8 Months

I was huge, uncomfortable and felt like a ball

I had a constant heartburn

I tried to get a bikini wax … it was a bad idea lol

Baby arrival was getting closer

I was anxious with excitement

I could not wait to meet my little one

Hospital bag and birthing plan were ready

All I could do was wait

                                       39 weeks

Labor pains began New Year’s Eve

It knocked the breath out of me

I went to the hospital… they sent me back home

A couple of hours after we got home, my water broke

We went back to the hospital

At check in, I found out  my company had not paid my health insurance

It cast a dark cloud over the miracle that was happening

I worried

My labor pains grew worse

I threw out my birthing plan and asked for an epidural

I was still in pain … and I worried about the hospital bill

The labor pains did not subside

The epidural tube was blocked...they did not realize until 1 hour later

They removed it … and re-inserted it

It was painful but my sister and I breathed through it

The pain eventually subsided

2 people got into an argument – that made me sad

My best friend came – that made me happy

I fell as sleep

                                      It Was Time 

They woke me up in a fright

My blood pressure was dropping so was the baby’s

Baby had pooped and needed to be out immediately

Everyone had to leave the room

Only 2 people could stay

My husband and one person

That was not the plan

It was supposed to be my husband and my 2 sisters

They made me choose between my sisters

I was sad… I needed them both

Labor pains racked my body

I pushed involuntarily

They stopped me and told me to push when asked

It was so painful... I couldn’t breath

I couldn’t feel my legs...

It was too painful to cry

They asked and I pushed

I pushed with every contraction as instructed

My sister looked at me,  she could see the baby’s hair

At that, I focused on my baby’s sonogram picture in the red frame at the corner of the room

I gave the push all energy I had left  

The baby came right out

It felt like……..I can’t explain

They took my baby away

I was confused but they told me to keep pushing

There was no cry

I was scared

Then there was a cry

It was a little girl

I cried… she was exactly what I wanted

They brought her to me

I held her for the first time …

My little girl

I couldn’t believe I was really a mum

A mum…To the most beautifulest little girl in the world

I thank God for giving me the privilege to be your mother

Happy Mother’s Day!!!